For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a published author. It was never a passing thought. No. It was a dream that lived inside me and consumed me for most of my life.
When you love stories the way I do, the idea of writing one that belongs in the world feels almost impossible and completely necessary at the same time.
Strangely enough, the moment when I truly believed I could publish a book only came to me last year. That was the year I forced myself through the thick wall of writer’s block that had stopped me so many times before. For years I had ideas, fragments of stories and beginnings that never quite reached the end.
But something changed last year...
I decided that if I was going to call myself a writer, then I had to actually write. I sat down, pushed through the doubts, disappeared from the world and kept going even on the days when every word felt heavy and useless.
When I finally finished writing The Devil’s Dance, something emotional happened that I did not expect. I cried my eyes out. It was not just because the story had come to an end, but because for the first time in my life I had finished something that once felt impossible.
In the past I had started many stories but never reached the end. Finishing this book felt like breaking through a wall I had been staring at for years. And if I may say so myself, the story is good. I believe readers will feel something when they read it. Maybe they will be moved. Maybe they will even be a little upset. Good stories should make people feel something.
I received the email from Black Rose Writing in January. Even now it still feels surreal when I think about it. Seeing those words on the screen felt like stepping into a moment I had imagined for years but never quite believed would actually happen.
For so long the dream of publishing a book belonged in a future that I never thought I would see. Then suddenly that future arrived. The shift from dreaming about it to realizing it was real was overwhelming in the best possible way.
My journey with writing has been etched into everything that makes me "Jolandi". I have been writing since I was fifteen years old. Back then the dream already existed, but the road to reach it was not easy. English is not my first language. I am Afrikaans, and to be honest I was never particularly strong in either language when I was younger. So I couldn't say I'll just write a book in Afrikaans or English, because I lacked the confidence and skills.
Writing a full novel in English required years of practise and frustration. There were many moments where I wondered if I would ever be able to write the kind of story I imagined in my head. But perseverance matters more than talent alone. Over time I improved. I learned the craft. And today I can write with a confidence that younger versions of myself never believed possible.
One of the reasons I am so grateful to Black Rose Writing is that they saw something in my work when others did not. Their catalogue of books already aligned with the kind of stories I love. Dark fiction. Horror. Suspense. Thriller. Historical Fiction. Stories that explore the strange and unsettling corners of history and imagination.
But beyond that, they gave me a chance. For any writer, that kind of opportunity means everything - absolutely everything! Being welcomed into a publishing house feels like stepping into a community that believes in your story as much as you do.
Publishing a book has been my dream for most of my life. Seeing that dream is beginning to take shape is both exciting and humbling. It reminds me that the path to something meaningful is rarely straight. It is full of doubt, persistence, learning, failure and moments where you simply refuse to give up.
And now, for the first time, the dream is no longer just a dream. And I want to thank everyone who has believed in me and supported me through this process.
Without the support of Antony, my fiance, and the support of my mother, Landa, I would not have been able to take this leap!